"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/10/2015 at 11:59 • Filed to: toyota, hilux, truck yeah, tactical impact wrench
20
9|
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/10/2015 at 11:59 • Filed to: toyota, hilux, truck yeah, tactical impact wrench | 20
| 9 |
I pulled the clearly marked $30,000 in hundreds out of the canvas sack and slid it across the table to the representative of Team F. He looked at it, looked back at me, and smiled broadly, a clown’s smile. I wanted to knock out the rest of his teeth, but restrained myself. I’m a professional, I told myself every morning in the hotel room mirror, fastening my cufflinks made of WWII anti-aircraft flak shell.
Why was I in the hottest combat theatre this side of the Middle East? It was simple. They had conflict Toyotas. You see, back home, we don’t get good Toyota trucks. We get these weird huge lumpy things, sodden with plastic and too big for an ISO standard Tim Hortons drivethrough. I could imagine the original Toyopet engineers, back in ‘68, weeping as they saw through their crudely-improvised Nipponese time portal to our generation, and it filled me with rage.
Team F’s representative rapped on the thick wooden table between us. On the otherwise-featureless blast door behind him, a viewport slid open. There was a rapid exchange, then the door opened. He beckoned me inward.
In the darkened warehouse, I navigated by the shafts of glittering sunlight allowed in through the bullet holes. It was a wet day, I remember, and it smelled like a combination of mildew and human excrement. I put it out of my head. I’m a professional, after all.
Before me laid two 80s Toyota Hiluxes, ready for export. But something felt wrong about the deal. Team F was watching me closely, just out of sight in the shadows. These were top notch operators, and if I hesitated it might not end well for me.
I crossed the floor quickly, reaching for the drivers’ door of the first Hilux, its glittering Creme door paint oddly fresh for the thirty years of sandblasting it must have seen. I dropped my bag off my shoulder, miming incompetence, and reached for the rocker panel. Of course, I thought, sliding my other hand in one fluid motion into the webbed utility holster strapped under my sport coat and unlocking the safety on my Sig Sauer Tactical impact wrench.
As is where is, motherfucker.
Nisman
> Seat Safety Switch
11/10/2015 at 12:30 |
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Have you ever thought about querying this? I really enjoyed it. I would definitely read the book.
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Seat Safety Switch
> Nisman
11/10/2015 at 12:31 |
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Sorry, querying?
Party-vi
> Seat Safety Switch
11/10/2015 at 12:39 |
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Like quarrying, but with an accent.
Spoon II
> Seat Safety Switch
11/10/2015 at 16:14 |
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That last line...perfection!
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Nisman
> Seat Safety Switch
11/10/2015 at 18:06 |
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Basically sending this to literary agents to see if they would be interested in a book.
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Seat Safety Switch
> Nisman
11/10/2015 at 18:19 |
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I didn’t even know that was a thing that you could do. I was just going to do a Kindle self-published sort of thing.
I’ll have to look into it! Thank you for the support.
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Nisman
> Seat Safety Switch
11/10/2015 at 19:59 |
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Check this out http://queryshark.blogspot.com/
B Reynolds
> Seat Safety Switch
11/12/2015 at 16:55 |
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Damn that's a great teaser, I demand more! Haha great job and as a tacoma owner I'm intrigued.
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Seat Safety Switch
> B Reynolds
11/12/2015 at 17:02 |
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You could call the movie version Total Frame Recall .